7 Quick Takes--"It's a Girl" edition

1. It's a girl! (Well..the ultrasound tech is 90% sure. We will get another ultrasound in a few weeks to confirm...but I know she's a girl)

2. She weighs 11 oz. at 19 weeks gestation. Clark was 7 oz. at 20 weeks gestation. Maybe this little girl will get more of her daddy's genes?

3. So far all of my family/friends who are having babies this year are all having girls. That is 5 of us so far. Estrogen explosion!

4. I will be taking my baby girl to her first Backstreet Boys concert this August. This will be my second Backstreet Boys concert as a pregnant woman. Go me.

5. Nick's comments after finding out we are having a girl: "We are going to have a "tied" household now!...I guess we better start a wedding fund now....I hope she looks like you (to me)..I want her to be pretty like you, I hope she doesn't look too much like me."---Nick is very excited for our baby girl. :)..(and Nick, she will be beautiful no matter who she looks like)

6. I'm having a girl. Bring on the Disney Princesses and the ladybug stuff.... I'm so ready.

7. Isn't she lovely? And she looks a little uncomfortable...Love her to pieces :)

7 Quick Takes

1. I am officially all done with classes! YAY! I took two graduate classes per semester this past year to receive a certification in eating disorders and obesity. Once all the grades are finalized and the graduate school approves, I will officially have four more letters after my name: EDOC. I hope to put this certification to use in my career by working with people who suffer from eating disorders. The area of eating disorders is the reason I went into the field of Dietetics, and it feels so good to finally be certified in this area.

2. Since I work part-time and am now done with classes, I have so much more time on my hands. Sometimes I don't know what to to with myself. But I am happy that have I extra time, because this pregnancy has made me really tired so some days I take two hour long naps..it is wonderful. I am very excited to finally be able to focus alot of my time at home on my family.  I really want to make the most of the time I spend with Clark this summer before the baby comes. I was thinking about signing up for a "Mommy and Me" swim class with Clark. But then I realized that would require my huge pregnant self to wear a bathing suit, so maybe I will think of something else to do with him.

3. This pregnancy has so far been very different than my first pregnancy.  I was very sick in the first trimester. I would cry a lot just because of the nausea. I didn't get over the nausea until 15-16 weeks, and actually I still get nauseous from time to time now. I never feel hungry, I just get nauseous and thats when I know to eat. It sucks. If I don't eat something every 3 hours, I can't function, I get nauseous, and very lightheaded. I found out this hard the hard way a few weeks ago when I went to Mass by myself, and almost fainted while walking to get communion. I remember thinking "oh no, I'm gonna faint, everyone in church is going to stare, the paramedics are going to have to come, and I might know some of them, and then the fire department will talk about me.." Yea even though I was about to faint, this is what I was thinking about. But luckily, I didn't faint. Walking made me feel better. And when I got home and ate something I felt much better.

4. I also am much more emotional with this pregnancy. I cry at the stupidest things. I cried when Nick sternly told Clark "No!" when he was trying to crawl behind the couch. Clark's scared look on his face made me start balling. I cry when I read Clark books before bed time. I cry when I watch anything on TV about babies. I even cried when I watched American Idol last night and watched one of my favorites leave the show. I cry when I see people cry. I'm a mess sometimes. Sheesh! When I was pregnant with Clark, I didn't feel like I was pregnant until I was in my third trimester!

5. People keep asking me what I think I am having. I really don't know this time. I was for sure that Clark was a boy. I was sure that my second baby that I miscarried was a girl. But I am just not too sure this time. I am leaning towards girl just because of how different this pregnancy is, but who knows. I really don't have a preference. I would like a girl eventually, so it would be fun if this baby were a girl. But I also would love for Clark to have a little brother, and it would be easy if this baby were a boy because all of my boy clothes will fit with the seasons for this baby. So I will take whatever! We find out the gender next week!

6. It rained last night and this morning, and Clark is still sleeping (it is 9:20 am). I'm telling you that kid falls fast asleep to the sound of rain. It is nice today because yesterday he was up at 6:00 screaming his head off.

7. Happy Mother's Day to all the mama's out there.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Five Favorites

This is my first time linking up with Five Favorites Wednesdays.  Since I am officially all done with school work forever, I have a little more time on my hands. Here goes:

1. This song:

 

I listen to this song in the morning on the way to work because it really pumps/wakes me up. This would be a great song to workout to also. I think I might just go take a long walk outside today in this beautiful weather with this song in my ear.

 

2. This book:

I've been waiting for this book to come out, and it finally did yesterday. A while ago I read an excerpt to this book and loved it. The book is basically about his experiences with raising 5 children, and what I've read so far is hilarious. I haven't read the whole thing, but I already know it's gonna be a fave. I love Jim Gaffigan and his big family.

 

3.  This movie trailer:

My husband and I have been anticipating the release of this movie for the past two years.  The first time I saw the trailer, I cried a little.  I am confident that this movie is going to be amazing. It comes out in about one month from now, and it may be one of my favorite days of the entire year when I see this movie.

 

4. This kid:

I can't believe he is almost 18 months old. Clark has been such a joy. His personality is coming out more and more each day. He loves to wrestle with his daddy, he loves playing with puzzles, taking baths, throwing balls, and Mickey Mouse.  Love him.

 

5. And this kid:

This little babe is growing in my belly as we speak. This is our first picture of him or her at 9 weeks old. Baby is now 18 weeks old and is a mover and a shaker. I am amazed at how much I am feeling him/her this early in my pregnancy. We will be finding out the gender of this little one soon! We are anticipating the arrival of this baby in early October, possibly late September.

 

Happy Wednesday!



Habemus Papam!

 

God Bless Pope Francis!

7 Quick Takes

1. This week has thrown me way more curveballs than I asked for. And I am very happy this week is coming to an end.

2. On Tuesday, Nick got sick...fast. I think he caught the norovirus thats been going around. I quarantined him to our bedroom and sanitized every inch of my house.

3. On Wednesday, Clark threw up his entire breakfast, all over me and then had diarrhea all day long. The diarrhea stopped in the evening, and he slept all night long with no diarrhea. He ate breakfast well on Thursday and had a nice solid perfect poop after. I thought his diarrhea was done!

4. Thursday I made a last minute eye doctor appointment due to some blurriness going on in my right eye. (more on that later...) Clark threw up in the car on the way to the doctor's office, he projectile vomiting all over the floor at the doctor's office, three times. We took him home right away and while I went back to the doctor's office by myself, Nick took care of Clark, who threw up several more times and had diarrhea twice in the bathtub. Yum. Luckily, he slept great all night last night and has since stopped vomiting. The diarrhea has died down substantually and he is feeling much better. Thank God.

5. So back to my eye... After spending over an hour at the doctor's office and going through several different exams, he didn't know exactly how to diagnose me. There was something going on with my retina and it didn't look good so he sent me to a retina specialist across town right away. After spending 3 hours at that doctor's office, he explained to me that I have some type of retinal hemorrhage. And there is fluid built up in my retina. I also have a spot of blood from a vein and he was worried that there was something vascular going on with me. He advised me to go to a retinal specialist at Loyola University Medical Center ASAP.

6. So today I spent 3 more hours undergoing a lot of testing at Loyola. I have what is called a "pit" in my optic nerve. It is very rare. Like 1 in 10,000 people have this. It is a congenital anomoly, so apparently I was born with it. The doctor says these pits can cause fluid to be released into the retina, which is exactly what is happening to me. The Loyola doctor does not think it is a vascular problem since I am otherwise very healthy. He is confident the fluid and blurriness is from the optic pits..oh yea did I tell you the doctor found 3 of them in my eye? Yea crazy. There is a .001% chance of someone getting one of these and I have THREE of them! Lucky me! Nick said we should go buy a lottery ticket.

7. The doctor said he has only seen three cases like mine during his entire career as an ophtomalogist and they have all resolved on their own. So at this point, he wants to wait and see what happens and I am going to back in a month to see how my eye is doing. If it has gotten worse, we will probably go through with some type of treatment, which may mean surgery. I pray it resolves on its own. So, now I'm stuck with blurry vision until this resolves on its own or I undergo some type of treatment. Oy.

 

 In case you are not familiar with the eye or retina (I had never even had an eye exam before this so this was all new to me)... here is what my healthy left retina looks like:

 

 And this is what my bad retina looks like. Yikes!!

St. Lucy, Pray for me!!!

 

My second baby...

She is a girl. Her name is Anna Marie. We chose this name for her because according to our NFP charts she was conceived on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (conception of Mary inside Anne's womb; hence: Anna Marie). Pretty right? I think so. I miscarried Anna on January 1st at 5 weeks pregnant. She was a tiny embryo, but she has a soul, and I love her and miss her. Her due date would've been September 2nd. She wouldve' been 9 weeks and 3 days along today. I am thinking about her a lot today because today was our first scheduled doctor's appointment for her. We would've seen her tiny body and her little heart beat.

Miscarriage is so common. I know. One in four pregnancies result in miscarriage. I think about the other three ladies at work who have all had healthy pregnancies. I often think to myself "I am the one in four." My mom and grandmothers had miscarriages, my aunts had miscarriage, a few friends have had miscarriages. So yes, it is common, but that fact doesn't make a miscarriage any less heartbreaking. And it doesn't make each baby lost by miscarriage any less significant. My baby was only 5 weeks old..just a tiny embryo, her heart may have even started to beat. She was very real to me. Losing her and seeing the blood every day for 7 days made losing her especially real for me. I remember seeing the faint positive line on the pregnancy test, than a darker line a few days later, than a really dark line a few days after that. Than I remember seeing a big fat negative pregnancy test, a few days after the bleeding started. I knew deep down she was gone, but seeing that negative was somewhat of a shock. "Really? I am really having a miscarriage? This is happening to ME? I am losing our baby? I won't ever see her face, buy her pink clothes, spend next Christmas with her, hold her, raise her?" My world was crashing down. 

The next few days were really hard. I cried a lot. Family members and friends comforted me, but I still missed my baby immensely. A week later the crying lessened. I usually cried when I woke up, in the shower, maybe for just a minute until I realized I had a crying toddler to attend to. Two and a half weeks after  I miscarried I went the first entire day without crying. It is now almost a month later and I am doing very well. I still miss my baby, and I think about her daily. But after praying about it daily, I've come to be at peace with it. I am happy knowing that my baby girl is enjoying heaven right now. How wonderful. We have our own little saint in heaven. And that makes me smile.

Different women handle miscarriages differently. Some don't even realize they have had one when they start bleeding. Some are disappointed, but brush it off and start trying to get pregnant right away. Some people refer to their babies as "little angels." Some give their babies names, some don't. Some are able to have funerals or memorial Masses said for them. Some don't think about their babies often, some never stop thinking about they babies they've lost.

I am so grateful for my Catholic faith. The Church teaches us that life begins at conception, and God gives every person a soul from the moment of conception. I love that. It gives me comfort knowing that God loves my  baby girl more than I can even fathom, and that she is in heaven right now. Because my baby is a person and has a soul, I want to treat her as such. I am giving her a name. I wasn't able to bury my baby because she was so small, I don't know when she came out of me or what she looked like. So, I am keeping a memorial box for her. It is filled with all seven pregnancy tests I took, some prayer cards, a rosary, and a little journal, in which I write letters to her every now and then. I don't want to forget my baby. I wrote my first letter to her today. I will share it here:

Dear Anna Marie,

Hi baby girl. I love you and I miss you everyday. What's it like up there in heaven? I hope to enjoy heaven with you someday. Please pray for me, baby. I'm thinking about you a lot today.  Today you would've been 9 weeks and 3 days old. Today was supposed to be our first scheduled doctor's appointment for you.  We were going to see your little body and your little heartbeat.  I remembered on Monday that I never cancelled that appointment, so I had to make the call to cancel, and it made me so sad.  Today is so different than I thought it would be.  Today, I was supposed to be excited, happy, giddy, and maybe feeling nauseous and tired because you would've been growing so fast inside of my belly.  Instead, today I feel just fine, not sick, not nauseous, not really tired.  It's gloomy and rainy outside; fitting for how I am feeling.  Daddy is sick with the stomach flu and your big brother is pushing around his little four wheeler toy.  Today was supposed to be different.

I hope you like the name we chose for you. We chose "Anna Marie" because you were conceived on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, the day our Holy Mother was conceived. Well, you know, you've met her. I prayed to St. Anne for you and asked her to take care of you. I'm glad I did because I'm sure she welcomed you with open arms. We enjoyed the short time you were with us on earth.  You spent Christmas with us. It was so much fun. Your big brother got so many toys that I'm sure he would've shared with you.  You entered heaven on New Years Day, the Feast Day of our Holy Mother, Mary.  You got to meet her on her feast day!  What an amazing day to enter heaven! I'm sure all of the saints and angels were celebrating and having a huge party. I hope you weren't scared to leave mommy. You already have lots of friends and family in heaven ready to welcome you.  I love you baby, and I will think of you everyday. You are so beautiful and I can't wait to see you someday. You will always be in my heart and on my mind. Well, your big brother wants me to play with him and your daddy wants me to make him a bland breakfast. Please pray for us always baby girl. We love you! *Hugs and Kisses*

Love, Mommy

Today

It is Monday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Inauguration Day, the 1^st Baptismal birthday of my son, and the eve of the 40^th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

  I look at my son and am filled with so much joy and gratitude. I’m grateful for his life. I am grateful that God gave us the sacrament of Baptism so that we all have the opportunity to be cleansed of original sin and enter into Heaven when we die. How freakin’ awesome is that? Blows your mind, I know. Well, if it doesn’t blow your mind then you probably just don’t understand how amazing it is, and I feel sorry for you.  On this day, one year ago today, our baby boy was baptized into Christ’s Holy Catholic Church.  I remember feeling immense relief when the holy water was being poured on his head.  I remember thinking “Thank you God, now my son is safe.”  “Safe”, for some reason, was the only word I could think of.  Because of the sacrament, and because that Holy Water was poured on his head while the priest recited the prayers of Baptism, he IS safe.  Well at least more safe than he was before he was baptized. I believe that because of his baptism, he was given greater protection against harm, evil, and hell. I love the Catholic Church. I love every little detail of the sacraments. I love knowing that God loves us so much that he gave us the sacraments to help us along our journey through life, starting with Baptism. I love that every year we will celebrate our son’s Baptismal birthday with a candlelight dinner using his Baptismal candle, and blessing him with Holy water from his Baptism.  I want our son to understand the awesomeness of Baptism, of the Church, and of his life.  I want my son to know how much God loves him, and I want him to deeply appreciate the fact that he was born into a Catholic family that wants more than anything for him to be a saint someday.  

Cute Sidenote: My kid is already a good Catholic. Everytime I show him the picture of our papal blessing on our wall he says "Pah-pah-pah-pah-pahp." Yea, he knows who the Pope is. Awesome.

I then think about the fact that today is Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. Other than giving me a nice day off of work, he gave this country something great. He had the courage to stand up for the wrongs that were happening in this country in regards to civil rights. He wasn’t scared to stand up for what is right. He died standing up for the rights of all human beings. May he rest in peace.

Today is also inauguration day. President Barack Obama is being sworn in to his second term as President of the United States.  I’ve been watching the inauguration coverage all morning. I listened to his speech, and saw Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce kick butt at the songs they sang.  My favorite part of Obama’s speech was this: “Our journey is not complete until ALL our children…know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm. That is our generation’s task: to make these words, these rights, these values of LIFE and liberty and the pursuit of happiness real for EVERY American.” I agree with you, Mr. President, but I’m not sure we both agree on who consists of ALL Americans.

With Obama’s speech, and his inauguration day, I then think of what else today is: the eve of the 40^th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  I remember that we elected a President who will continue to allow the murder of millions of children every day. And that makes me sad. I’ve always been pro-life, even before I was really invested in my Catholic faith. Even without a strong faith foundation, I never understood how a woman could kill a child growing inside of her. Now that I am a mother, it boggles my mind so much more. Especially since I lost my second baby by miscarriage. It makes me sad and angry that there are a lot of people that would say that my 5 week old embryo daughter was not a person, and she was not alive. I loved my daughter when she was one cell, two cells, a zygote, a blastocyst, and when she died as an embryo. She was a person, and now she is enjoying the joys of Heaven. And I still love her, and miss her everyday.

I understand that unfortunately, many women have unplanned pregnancies. Many of these women are scared, confused, teenage girls who have no support from the fathers of their children or their families. That makes me really sad too. Because a lot of these girls are young and scared, they feel they have no other choice but abortion. So they run off to Planned Parenthood or other abortion clinics and get sold on abortion by the people trying to make money off of this evil.  If you don’t believe in hell or the devil, look at pictures of aborted babies, or read about the process of abortion...you might just change your mind about your beliefs in the evil one. Or not. Maybe you think that the woman’s choice regarding her body is of utmost importance; that if abortion wasn’t legal or done in safe and sterile environments that these women would die from abortions. Well, maybe we should build sterile office buildings where it is safe to bring in people we don’t like to murder them.  We could strap them down in a chair so they can’t break free or try to defend themselves so that WE don’t die while we murder them. Yea, you are right, that is the safest way to murder someone. But oh, I forgot, murder is ILLEGAL. So we can’t do that even if we wanted to. Yet, abortion is still legal. …Yea I’m scratching my head too.

So, you are pro-choice, and you tell me… “If you are pro-life, than what about all these babies that are born into horrible lives because the mothers chose to have them. Once the baby is born you don’t care anymore…all you care about is the fetus!”  And I would respond with, “You are right!”  These mothers chose life for these babies and that is wonderful, but what kind of lives will these children have? We need to support these mothers, show them love and understanding. We need more crisis pregnancy centers where the goal is to support the mother when she actually has the baby. We need to educate the mothers on adoption, and help them decide whether that is the right option for them.  Why can't we get government funded money for that?? The important thing to understand is that whether or not these children are born into a poor family in the inner city, or a wealthy family in well-to-do suburbia, these children are still important.  And their lives have great meaning. They are God’s children, not ours. God is the author of life, not us. Only God can decide when He will call someone back home, not us. Like it or not, that is the truth. It is a mortal sin to murder another human being, whether the human being is a zygote traveling toward his or hers mother’s womb, or an 88 year old person with down syndrome.  And all those men, women, family members of those women, politicians, and those who support politicians who have taken part in continuing the evil of abortion will have to answer to Christ as Judge someday. And let me tell you from what I hear, Christ as Judge isn’t a nice guy. He’s actually kinda scary, like, he-can-send-you-to-hell scary and that’s like the scariest kind of guy ever. Well, OK he is probably not “scary”, but the moment of having to go face to face with him can be scary. And yea I’m pretty sure hell sucks too. So just stop aborting babies, OK?

So, tomorrow, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I will be attending the Respect Life Mass at our parish, and praying hard for this evil to end.

St. Catherine of Sweden, Pray for Us!